girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He better not be in your backpack
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
