he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
