dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
