we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
