HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
