Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
