Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
