bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So many bounce houses so little time
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
