Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
