So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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