i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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