His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
His nipple licking is glorious
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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