Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
