I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
