its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
