This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
