why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
