11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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