I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
we should paint friendship bongs
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