Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
