Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would fuck him just for his dog
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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