Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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