I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
