i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
This couple is walking their pig around campus
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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