god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
