Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
