My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
