A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
