I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
