There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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