Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
