She's JV to your varsity
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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