i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
