No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
