Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have fence marks all over my body
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
