Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
