I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
