You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
