You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
