he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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