I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
