hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
