i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
