just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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