bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
