Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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