It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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