My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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