i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
