So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
