Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
