I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
