I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
